Break up - how to have a good breakup

How to end a
relationship
Is there a right
way to break up
with someone?
Does it really
make a difference
how you go about
severing the tie
that once kept
your hearts
intertwined?

Well, yes it does, actually. And there
are two key variables you should try to
keep in mind. The first is how direct
you are, and the second is how much
concern you express towards the
person you’re breaking up with.

The more direct you are, the more
considerate you’re likely to be.
Imagine a scenario where you break
up with someone by avoiding them, or
drifting away, or even putting all your
flaws on display in the hopes that
they’ll break up with you.
Not only would that show a lack of
compassion on your part, but it’s
might also make things harder after
you breakup. So, while ending a bad
relationship is sometimes the right
choice to make, it really is worth
trying to do it as kindly as possible.

While it may seem harder, being direct
is a much more compassionate way
to leave your lover. Be clear that you
want to end the relationship, and show
your soon-to-be-ex-partner that you
care how it affects them. It won’t be
entirely painless, but you’ll have a
much better breakup as a result.

What are the plus points of a breakup?
Even the person who initiates the
breakup can feel a sense of loss.

The post breakup grieving can be
categorised by anger, sadness, and
sometimes even anxiety

. It can be
a very lonely time, which is not
surprising, considering how much we
share with our partners.
But, in the long run, it’s not
necessarily a bad thing. In fact, one
study showed that two out of three
people felt their breakups were a
positive or neutral experience overall.

For one, breaking up with a partner
can give you a new sense of freedom.
Your plans are no longer built around
somebody else’s routine, and you
don’t need to factor someone else in
every time you make a diary
commitment. You’ve got more time
for yourself, and your own interests.

If the relationship wasn’t working and
you’d been indulging unhealthy habits
or self-destructive ways of thinking,
then getting a bit more space for
yourself can give you a chance to
change things up a bit. Many people
end up feeling better adjusted after
breaking up with someone.

In addition, research shows that single
people tend to have more active social
lives than those in romantic
relationships so a breakup may
present the perfect opportunity to
catch up with friends and family, or
even to take up a new hobby and meet
new people.

Getting over a breakup
You may have heard lots of advice
about avoiding ‘rebound relationships’,
and not getting involved in anything
too serious too soon.

An interesting study published in 2015
suggests that starting something new
might not be as bad as we once
thought. The results showed that
people entering new relationships
shortly after a breakup tend to have
higher self-esteem and feel more
confident in their desirability.

But, before you get carried away, you
might like to know that these
relationships don’t often last,
especially when people are still
hanging onto mixed feelings about
their exes.

So, before you get into a new
relationship, try to make sure you’ve
given yourself sufficient time to deal
with any feelings that are left hanging.

You may need some time to remind
yourself of who you are and want you
want from life before you get too
involved with someone new.

So, what’s next?
On the way out of an unhappy
relationship, you may find you’ve lost
a bit of your sense of self. Spending
time with friends and engaging in
activities you like that you might have
abandoned or let go of can have a
positive effect on your general
wellbeing.

In other words, treat yourself. Enjoy
life, have some fun, and do something
that makes you feel better. You’ve just
been gifted an opportunity to start
afresh.

COUPLECONNECTION